Clear your Worries 

 

We understand the importance of privacy, efficiency, and customer satisfaction, which is why we have designed our shipping process to be smooth and secure from start to finish. 

We keep it simple. Speed, stealth, and making sure you actually get what you ordered. Whether your in the CBD or out past the black stump, we treat every parcel like its going to a bro. Because it is.

The Real Deal on Aussie Post Times

We work with the system not against it. Here is how it breaks down based on actual Australia Post timeframes not the bullshit estimate they give you.

Standard Parcel (Road / Rail)
3 to 6 business days. Tracking supplied with 24 hours of dispatch. Good for regional but if your in a hurry read below.

Express Post (This is what you want)
1 to 3 business days. Next business day for metro areas like Melb, Sydney, Brisbane, Adelaide, Perth. If your in regional NT or WA outback give it 2 to 3 days. We ship Mon to Wed mostly to avoid weekend depot drama.

Express Platinum (VIP overnight)
Next business day before lunch if your in a capital city. Costs a bit more but if you need it now you need it now.

Note on WA and NT
Look we cant change geography. Add one extra day for Perth and Darwin. AusPost moves slow out there we all know it.

Stealth and Discretion 

Plain packaging only. No logos. No tape with our name. No stupid stamps that say fragile or handle with care. Just a boring satchel or plain cardboard box that looks like you ordered office supplies or a book from some bloke on eBay.

Return address is generic. Think “Fulfillment Centre” or “Supply Co” with a Melbourne or Sydney suburb. Nothing stands out. Nothing screams look at me.

Scent proof barrier. Vacuum sealed mylar. Opaque so you cant see shit if you hold it up to the light. No rattle. No smell. We pack it tight so it doesnt move around.

One customer from VIC said it best. Quote “Felt like I was opening a hard drive from Amazon. Boring as. Perfect.”

We know alot of you come from the darknet days. Encrypted messaging. PGP. Trust but verify. We keep that mindset alive even with regular post.

Decoy cover product. We include a genuine looking item as a cover so if the postie shakes it it sounds exactly like what the label says.

Layered stealth. Outer envelope then inner opaque bag then sealed barrier pouch then your actual product. Like a russian doll but for grown ups.

Multiple dispatch zones. We send from NSW, VIC and QLD depots. Never the same post office twice in a row. No patterns. No heat.

Dispatch Times

Cut off is 2pm AEST. Order before then and it goes out same day.

No weekend shipping. Orders on Friday after 2pm go out Monday morning. We dont let parcels sit in depots over the weekend where they get tossed around and forgotten.

Express 24 guarantee. If you pick Express and your in a next day metro zone and we miss it we will credit you 10 percent off your next order. AusPost delays happen but we stand by our word.

Where We Ship

Everywhere. All of Australia.

Major cities obviously. Regional hubs like Townsville, Albury, Bunbury. Remote areas too we use the AusPost road network to get it to your local LPO.

PO boxes and parcel lockers are fine. Actually we reccomend parcel lockers for max privacy if you live in a sharehouse or with nosey flatmates.

 

 

Frequently Asked faQ

Do I have to sign for it?

No. Authority to leave is standard unless you specifically ask for signature. Postie drops it and leaves. No knocking. No awkward conversations.

What if im not home?Goes to your local post office for pickup. Show your ID or the tracking SMS and collect. Just another parcel.

How do I track it?
We send a tracking link via a generic tracking app or direct to AusPost. We keep the email boring. No subject lines that say YOUR SHROOMS ARE HERE. Just “Order Dispatch Confirmation” or some mundane shit.

What about customs?
Domestic only. Never leaves Australia. No international customs just standard sorting facilities.

 How do I pay?

Long story Short You can Pay through Skrill easy to setup , You can Pay via Crypto as Well if you choose to be Discreet (crypto Deals Select any product For Test Order

Lost Parcels

Rare. Less than half a percent. But if it happens we offer one reship or refund. We monitor postal strikes and heatwaves and if we think theres gonna be a delay we email you.